Childhood Goodbyes

I was recently driving in the car with my son talking with him about how he spent four hours the other day playing with a bunch of kids at the park. It seems a bit odd to say, but I can’t express how happy it made me to hear about this experience he had. For a number of reasons my son has struggled with long lasting interpersonal relationships and with the addition of modern technology like tablets, Roblox, and YouTube – he doesn’t really have much interest in actually physically spending time with other kids outside of school. I don’t think this is all that uncommon these days from what I have heard. It is sad but makes such occasions all the more exciting.

While talking with him I thought about that moment when that must have come when either he or some critical mass of the other children must have decided they were done playing for the day. I tried to think back and remember what that was like. The funny thing is… I can’t. I can’t remember any specific moment where I said something like “Well I am going to go home now.” And it just made me wonder how myself or my friends actually approached that moment. Was it clumsy? Was it awkward? Abrupt? Rude? If I had to guess I would say at one time or another it was probably all of those things. As an adult looking back those times of play seemed like they lasted an eternity compared to what feel like fleeting moments I get with my friends now. Four hours can fly by like in a flash when a group of adults are having conversations about life. And somehow you still feel exhausted by the end. Occasionally the goodbyes are still awkward.

I didn’t think to ask my son how he said goodbye to his friends. Chances are it was abrupt and maybe even awkward. He did tell me that he was getting tired, so maybe that’s what he said. I think part of being a kid is the utter lack of awareness of how finite our time really is. Too tired to play anymore today? There is always tomorrow or the next day. Life is more seamless when days seem to last longer, the distance between landmark events in one’s life is so vast. Saying goodbye almost seems silly. See you later is more appropriate because that is your reality, you will without a doubt in your mind see that person later.

I can’t remember saying goodbye to my friends as a kid. I am sure I said “see you later” a lot. Sadly later hasn’t come in a lot of cases and for some the opportunity is gone. I can remember the times of play and I can even remember some of the walks home. I suppose that means the goodbyes are never as important as the time we spend with the people we care about. I try not to burden my son with such heavy thoughts, but I do try to encourage him to cherish his youth and to play.